I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
