my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize