Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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