her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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