my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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