he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize