Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
