My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
