Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
