that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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