I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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