He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
