He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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