we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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