Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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