he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
