3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
