We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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