he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize