i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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