just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
