Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
