So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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