It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
