I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
