You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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