More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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