I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
