I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
