goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
