Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
