I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
