It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
