Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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