That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
