Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
