There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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