I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
