I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
