We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
