I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
