I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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