Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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