i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
