Porn is love you can see.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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