TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize