A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
