I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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