my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
