I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
