Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
