love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
