You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
