Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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