he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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