just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
