that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
