I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
