Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
